Xiaolin Showdown
Not to be confused with Shaolin Soccer, or anything even remotely good, really
Tags: Xiaolin Showdown Categories: PSP Reviews, Reviews
Posted by Jake McNeill on Jan 21st, 2007
| Title | Players | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Xiaolin Showdown (title page) | |||
| Developer | Publisher | Genre | Online |
| Action | Yes | ||
Ah, come to seek the wisdom of the great Hjeyk Mkh-Niilh, you have? And what is it that you seek to know, hmm? Perhaps you wish to know of the mysteries of the ancients? Or the secret to immortal life, hmm? Ah, I see. You wish to know whether the PSP game Xiaolin Showdown would make a worthwhile purchase. This information I can impart to you… for a price…
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The tale of Xiaolin Showdown is a story that begins long ago, before the game’s creation. It begins as a kid’s cartoon on the WB network. Ah, but what must happen with even the most remotely-successful of kid’s TV shows? Yeeeees, it becomes a videogame. And so it did. Of course, these such games are burdened by a terrible curse, one which has rarely been broken since the golden era of 80s cartoons like Ninja Turtles and Duck Tales. Games of this nature are prone to fall under the evil shadow of opportunism, sloth, and poor worksmanship. And so this game has, it would seem.
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At first appearance, this tainted existence may be difficult to see. This game has an outward appearance that is somewhat pleasing, with visuals imparted in the honorable cel-shaded style. And, while my many years of experience have not brought me the insight of having seen the cartoon this game was based on, I believe that the characters and locations depicted within are a worthy reproduction of their animated counterparts. [Editor's note: I have watched the cartoon, and they seem good to me.]
I see that this game has much fighting and conflict, and stirs up memories of the Power Stone games, in which four warriors could partake in glorious battle in three-dimensional combat arenas. Yet, while the Power Stones were pure and good, Xiaolin Showdown is tainted by the evil of heartless commercialism. Where Power Stone was fun and original, Xiaolin Showdown brings only sorrow.
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Why is this, young grasshopper? Pay attention, and you will see. Observe! While Power Stone’s fighting style is strong and varied, Xiaolin Sowdown’s kung fu is weak! Its four warriors are hardly different at all, and while they have a few various attacks, they are no more effective than repeatedly tapping the attack button. Even their ability to use interchangeable special attacks is an insult to the fighting arts, as they take too long to recharge. Furthermore, attacks damage your allies, which can be very frustrating, especially when an ally’s chosen special attack knocks you out or freezes you in place, as many do.
Most of the game has you fighting a faceless legion of repetitive robots, but occasionally you’ll have the opportunity to compete in one of a few minigames along the lines of “keep away” and “king of the hill”. However, they still suffer many of the same issues as the main game does.
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Now, come close, and I will reveal the greatest weakness of Xiaolin Showdown. These warriors have no souls! Even though the game has health items, it seems as though these characters can keep taking damage for all eternity with the only repercussion being occasionally falling down. The game’s heroes do not even have life bars… for they are not truly alive, making their every action meaningless. It is an important lesson to learn, young one – even though we imagine an existence where life is effortless to be perfect, when you remove the challenge from life, you leave it empty and unsatisfying, and doing so has made Xiaolin Showdown exactly that – empty and unsatisfying.
So, my pupil, the answer you seek should be readily apparent by now. Xiaolin Showdown has the appearance of a fun game, but within it harbors a great darkness devoid of fun. Its combat is repetitive and holds absolutely no challenge. You would be wise to avoid it, my son.
| What Works | Score |
|---|---|
| + Nice cel-shaded graphics | 3.0 |
| What Doesn't | |
|
- Boring, frustrating, button-mashing fighting with repetitive enemies - No life bars and no health means there’s absolutely no challenge |
|
| Under the Shrink-wrap | |
| Some nice visuals don’t even come close to making up for boring, repetitive, pointless gameplay | |
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Tags: Xiaolin Showdown
Posted by Jake McNeill on Jan 21st, 2007 and is filed under PSP Reviews, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can post a comment, or trackback from your own site.
