Windows Gets Balls
Golf balls that is. Outlaw Golf is headed to the PC.
Tags: Outlaw Golf Categories: News, PC News
Posted by Daniel "monk" Pelfrey on Jul 22nd, 2003
Simon & Schuster Interactive announced today that Outlaw Golf would be coming to the PC this fall. The game is a hardcore golf game with a humorous side that takes gamers to three different courses where you’d never find PGA members.
FROM THE PRESS RELEASE
With a hardcore physics engine and a take-no-prisoners attitude, OUTLAW GOLF takes the sport to the extreme. Try your game on one of these outrageous courses:
Turnpike Valley Country Club – Experience golf with a special flavor – a blend of toxic waste and traffic exhaust that cries New Jersey. Note the friendly message that local denizens have colorfully painted on the tastefully placed concrete supports that allow golf and heavy traffic to coexist. Don’t forget to dodge low flying airplanes!
Crusty Leaf Country Club – Remember the Civil War? They do. So look out for stray bullets and trailer parks as you head South – where the loveliness of the golf course is offset by the ugliness of certain local denizens. On the bright side, if you’ve had a hankering for your first cousin, here’s your chance to get married properly!
El Diablo Country Club – Golf in this desert setting and do your part to wreck the environment. Enjoy the low flying blimps, which are no more garish than the residents, and stop in to visit Grandma and Gramps when you finish your round.
Only the finest individuals could golf on these courses. Choose to be:
C.C. – Growing up around six brothers meant CC learned early in life to kick major sports-ass and wear dresses later. This curvaceous and ultra-competitive Tom boy can dish out a delicate chip shot or a vicious roundhouse kick to her good natured, tubby caddy, Heavy G. By the way, don’t ever call CC a Tom boy to her face or you’ll be looking out of your ear.
Doc – Taking time off from his busy surgical and malpractice schedule, Doc Diggler never passes up a chance hit the links… even if it costs a few patients their lives. Lugging clubs for doctor slice is his brain-dead caddy, Toast.
El Suave – Hailing from the most sexy, exotic locale on the planet – Tia Juana – El Suave is the only golfer ever known to be able to pose before, during and after a golf swing. Carrying the clubs for this Latin Lover of himself, is the ultimate brown-noser, golfshoe-licking toady, El Ramon.
Harley – Born in a motorcycle repair shop, Harley grew up with a crowbar in one hand and a golf club in the other. Harley perfected her golf swing beating up boyfriends and relatives. She is currently living in a van with her fellow hog-riding, tough-yet-tender boyfriend and caddy, Snake. Harley can frequently be seen on TV, usually being handcuffed and hauled off by local police for disorderly conduct.
Ice Trey – Hailing from the rough and tumble, crime-ridden inner city streets of Beverly Hills, wannabe rapper, Ice Trey, dropped out of school to pursue his dream of rapping and playing golf — a decision that was about as promising as his single digit S.A.T. score. Caddying for Ice Trey is his one-man posse, spinner and tattoo consultant – Fresh Fruit.
Killer Miller – Just released from prison strictly on technicality, Killer Miller takes pride in his long game and his short temper. At 6′ 5″ and 275 pounds of angry, rippling muscle, Killer puts on quite a show — bringing new meaning to the expression “slaying his audience.” Toting Killer’s clubs is his caddy, confidant and twenty dollar an hour shyster attorney, A. Lance Chaser, Esquire.
Scrummy O’Doole – When he’s not out swinging his niblick on the back nine at St. Andrews, legendary soccer hooligan and world-class barroom brawler, Scummy O’Doole, likes to kick back and pass out in his own vomit.
Summer – Hailing from the Big Apple, where she splits her time between PHD studies in molecular biology at Columbia University, and entertaining foreign businessmen in the champagne room of the Pink Flamingo, please welcome sultry Summer, and her equally ample caddy, Autumn. Remember gentleman, after the game these ladies will be available for autographs… and lap dances. Bring plenty of singles.
Trixie – Trixie has been playing golf at private clubs ever since she was a wee little snob. Dumb as a ball washer and ruder than a slicing drive, Trixie’s handicap is her mouth. She hails from quote-unquote “none of your business, USA.” Carrying Trixie’s bags is her deep-pocketed and dirty old caddy, Ed.
Mistress Suki – Hitting the links, literally, is one tightly-laced, leather-clad golfing diva whose game is all about discipline. Inflicting maximum punishment on every ball she hits is Mistress Suki, assisted by her bruised and
battered, but amiable 300 pound whipping-boy caddy, Puddin’. Watching these two out on the course is an excruciatingly exciting experience.
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Tags: Outlaw Golf
Posted by Daniel "monk" Pelfrey on Jul 22nd, 2003 and is filed under News, PC News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can post a comment, or trackback from your own site.
